Days 5 & 6

Ah, Google. I forgot just how all-consuming you can be. I woke up at 5 am to an email announcing that I was on the docket to present in front of senior management at 2 pm. The kicker was not only was I to deliver content on my program, but also on another program as my colleague was unable to attend the meeting. Remember this is Day 2. I spent the day cramming - finishing my slides, learning her content, practicing, etc. By 3:00 I was exhausted. The jet lag, the stress and the fire drill took the life out of me. Good times.

But swimming in the hotel pool in the mornings has really been helping my zen (as you can see):

So no update yesterday. Work is creeping into my free time. WTF?

Speaking of WTF moments, I've certainly had a few since arriving in Sydney. Here are a few:

TV - WTF!

TV is crap here. I have spent the last few nights renting movies from my hotel which is getting pretty expensive - Tyson (movie about Mike Tyson that actually leaves you liking the guy), The Proposal (Ryan Reynolds' abs are my new crush) and My Sister's Keeper (tears, tears, tears). The pickens are getting slim, and I may resort to watching Ghosts of Girlfriends Past soon. That will be a dark day.

My beloved Hulu is blocked outside of the United States - which no one told me when I signed my contract to live & work in Australia. They really should tell you these things. I have a friend with a code that will allow me to "unlock it" and I'm stalking her for those digits. Otherwise, I may be forced to watch "Neighbours" again.

Ah, such great actors.

Such great writing.

Such emotion.

Shoot me now.

The month of January - WTF!

I've been told numerous times that people in Australia don't really work from Christmas until January 27th. I thought it was a joke, but I've heard it so many times that I'm starting to believe it. Apparently January is Australia's "vacation month" since its summer and is smack dab in the middle of two important holidays, Christmas and Australia Day. Australia Day? Yes, Australia Day. It commemorates the day when the British came to settle Australia with 11 ships full of convicts. Now before you get too judgmental here, let me tell you about some of these "convicts" (credits go to Wikipedia):

• Esther Abrahams was convicted of stealing lace
• James Bloodworth was convicted for stealing one game cock and two hens
• John Baughn was convicted of stealing 5 blankets
• Matthew James Everingham was convicted to stealing two books
• Elizabeth Thackery of the theft of 5 handkerchiefs
• Mary Bryant was convicted of (and I quote), "highway robbery of a silk bonnet, jewellery and a few coins"

Bonnets!

These miscreants were sentenced to "Transportation" which means they were put on a boat for 8 months and shipped off to a beautiful, sunny island. I think they got their just desserts. So thanks to them I have Australia Day to look forward to (and a slow month of January).

Decaf - WTF!

Now, Aussies pride themselves on their coffee & tea. I love coffee & tea! But (as most of you know) I don't drink caffeine. And there is NO DECAF here. Annoying fact about Europe. Annoying fact about Australia.

Besides that, I don't understand the espresso machine at Google here in Sydney. What's with the levers?

Its one of those things I've always prided myself on around the office - my ability to use the espresso machine. People were always afraid of the espresso machine. I was the one who came to their rescue - with my years of experience as a barista at the Bookend Cafe in Boulder and Cafe Trio in Chapel Hill.

That's me behind the counter. Ready to make you a latte.

They marveled at my ability to effortlessly froth milk - sometimes directly in my paper cup. Now I'm the one staring at the machine in confusion. It once made me feel so capable. Now I'm going to have to get better at Excel or Foosball to bring my cache back up around the office.

Look! I already have an outfit.

The best thing about work is I get to interact with the natives. And I'm learning a lot. Especially about the language barrier. You'd think we'd be able to understand one another since we both speak English, but no. Its not that easy.

Good on ya

I have had trouble deciphering was the phrase "goodonya". This is another thing Australians say a lot. It means congratulations or job well done. I like it. Its funny.

Lovey

Everyone calls each other "love". "How ya doin', luv?" Love that! If you're extra special they even call you "luvey".

Apples, she'll be

I heard someone today say, "Apples, she'll be" which I looked up in my trusty Australian English dictionary. It means: "It'll be alright". They're so soothing, these Australian colloquialisms.

No dramas

I've noticed Australians say "no worries" all the time. That's not really novel as I say that quite a bit myself. However, they say it ALL THE TIME. And even better they say, "no dramas". Someone said that to me over IM the other day when I was running late to a meeting:

stephanieb:

sorry, jane!

i'm running a little late.

jane:

oh, no dramas

see you in a bit

Figuring out the Australian slang and how to work the espresso machine is pretty exhausting -so I've been slightly out of sorts. However, there are a few things that have made me feel right at home. Like my ability to jump into any New Moon conversation as it arises (and it does).

And, last but not least (oh, my sweet Jesus, thank you): Oprah is on here in Australia. Oh, the ubiquitous, omnipotent, omniscient Oprah. You allow me to use all my big words. I love you, Oprah.

(Shut up, Jenn).