I boiled a bunny. Well, a bilby.

Easter. It's one of those days when you're allowed to get up in the morning and eat chocolate. There aren't many of those days. And I cherish those days. Because - like many women - I love chocolate. You could even say I'm addicted to it.

Go ahead - say it.

So anyway, I wake up Easter morning. And the Easter Bilby has come. He's left me some tulips, a chocolate bilby and some organic strawberries.

I think to myself - before I tear into that chocolate bilby I should really make myself an omelet. Like I did yesterday. Goat cheese, sauteed red peppers (capsicum) and month+ old eggs (hasn't killed me yet).

But I'm too lazy. Laziness is becoming more a part of my life then I'm comfortable with. But I'm just going with it.

So what do I do? I open that chocolate bilby and I take a bite - the ears. I go for the ears.

Mmmm.....HUH??? This isn't chocolate! What IS this? This is nasty, that's what this is.

I look at the box - it's chocolate alright. I'd specifically made sure to get chocolate and not CAROB. Sacrilege.

I take a closer look. "No sugar added." DAMN IT!

DAMN.

IT.

I want a SUGAR-FILLED chocolate Easter bilby! And I want to eat it for breakfast.

DAMN DAMN DAMN

I remember those mornings... getting up to find some string at the foot of the bed. Following that string around the house until I found my Easter basket full of goodies! And my parents (er, I mean my Easter Bunny) didn't skimp. I mean they/he gave me CHOCOLATE. Sometimes even solid chocolate (which I didn't really like - I like hollow, but I still appreciated the gesture). No oranges and other bullshit for me. The Easter Bunny brings teeth-rotting chocolate. That's the kind. The good stuff.

So here I am. In my apartment. It's my first Easter living alone and I cannot find any CHOCOLATE.

So I did something drastic. I know it's cliche. A woman loses her mind and does something completely and unfathomably drastic. She boils a bunny. Glenn Close-style.

Well, I went there. I just SO went there...'cept mine was a bilby. I put that Easter bilby right into the frying pan.

Sorry, bilby, but your rat tail disturbs me.

And instead of adding carrots like Elmer Fudd would, I added sugar. Gobs. of. Sugar. Then I realized why Martha tells you to melt chocolate in a double-boiler. It burns. It clumps. So I added milk. And whisked. And it looked good.

So I poured in the entire carton of milk and made some good ol' fashioned chocolate milk.


And that was my breakfast. And it was GOOOOOOOOOD.

Oh yes. It was good stuff.

And then I watched New Moon. :-) And went to a BBQ in Bondi with some new friends. My first Aussie barbie. And had an Aussie burger, beet root and all. What a great Easter Sunday.

Sorry, Easter Bilby. Shoulda known better than to bring me sugarless chocolate!